Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
