she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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