Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize