My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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