I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
