Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
