I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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