Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
