I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
