so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
