also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
