the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Randomize
