Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Randomize
