At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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