Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My dick has a subreddit
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
