How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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