I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
