I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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