Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize