I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
