so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Randomize
