I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
another moral hangover. fuck.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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