beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
