Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
