You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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