My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
