dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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