I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
