I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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