im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
