he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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