the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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