You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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