yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
