wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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