I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The power of my boobs compel you
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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