areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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