we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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