You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
