return my video game
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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