They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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