I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Dick very happy bro
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
