Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
