Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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