You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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