I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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