I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize