thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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