Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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