is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
