He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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