I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
