I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
