I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
