she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize