it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
