I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
