i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
