goodnight i made you a song goodbye
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i think i have herpe
just one?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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