people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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