I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
